Molly Shebeen’s
bar mitzvah burger
Molly Shebeen’s (or Molly’s Shebeen Bar + Restaurant or Molly’s Bar and Restaurant or Molly’s Pub and Shebeen) has been kicking since the 90s, but the space itself has a long history. The 287 Third Avenue real estate has operated as a bar since the 90s as well - the 1890s. Since 1895, the occupants have slung drinks to the citizens of Gramercy and became Molly Malone’s in 1964, after the Irish tune, before becoming just Molly’s (or the assorted name variants listed above).
Molly’s has been recommended by a few folks so I made time for lunch here before riding uptown to catch Hamnet in theaters. A big British Isles day for me! They’re open from 11AM-4AM every single day, though, so I had no shortage of opportunities to come in for a burger.
I dined once again with the always-kind Josh Gondelman, to whom I owed a Burger Diva t-shirt (which are still available and living in my storage unit, bang my line for one!). There was one beef burger to choose from (they also offer a turkey, bison and veggie patty), and you had the option to add some LTO and pickles too. Each burger comes with a side of fries, onion rings or salad. I got a side of half fries and half onion rings and all the toppings ($14 for a 10 ounce patty). Josh went for the turkey burger and fries at $17.
Through the wait for food and our conversations about the general state of the world, each topic was punctuated with what I can only call 5th grade Jock Jams. Not full on anthemic tunes for a stadium, but ones that would particularly amp up the pre-middle school crowd, at least in the 2000s. Kung Fu Fighting, Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) and the YMCA among them, every time a new song started, Josh and I were on the edges of our seats waiting for what could be next.
It operated in a high contrast to the reality around us. Scattered people taking their lunch breaks, maybe having a beer and some light conversation, walls covered in dark wood and decorative photos, brass chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Visually and culinarily, we were at the pub. Auditorily we were at a bar mitzvah in 2006.
Our burgers came out on bulky brioche buns and stood tall, mostly due in part to the thickness of the raw red onion and dill pickle chips. I’d argue they dwarfed the patty by at least a quarter of an inch!
The burger itself left much to be desired. It was a tavern style patty and it fell prey to what happened at Montague Diner, where the patty fractured and led to a sort of DIY slider situation. But unlike MD, the overall flavor didn’t balance out this infraction. I was missing salt, I was missing char. The veg on top was a bit too big and bulky, same goes for the bun, which I was left with long after the patty and its accoutrement were consumed.
I’m ranking the burger at Molly’s at 54, between JG Melon and Long Island Bar. The burger might be a miss, but I’d come back here for a spice bag, a pint and perhaps the Macarena.
Coming up in the next few weeks here - a late night burger available til 3:30AM, a very hard to get burger, and some fresh editions of Perfect Pair.