Ten Burgers, Ranked
As a woman raised on Buzzfeed listicles and Food Network’s The Best Thing I Ever Ate, I’m incredibly excited to bring my current ranking to you. A note: it’s less of a top ten and more of a “these are the ten burgers I’ve assessed so far and the order in which I enjoyed them.”
If you think there’s a spot I need to try, leave a comment but odds are it’s on my hit list. If you want a full list of everything I’ve tried and all the burgers to come or you want to jump the line and have me try your recommendation next, upgrade to a paid sub! It costs less than any of the below burgers.
Last week I reviewed a non-exhaustive list of what I’m looking for in My Best Burger™ but to jog your memory, some elements that are important to me are integrity, topping quality/crunch and the answer to the all-important question: Is it Too Wet?
Please bear in mind that nearly all of the burgers below come with cheese - only JG Melon has the hamburger and cheeseburger as separate menu items. That being said, I understand that the addition of cheese could change the vibe of the burger entirely but those are not my shots to call.
For each spot, I included the price, whether or not it comes with fries, how hard it’d be to get for yourself and who I shared the meal with. Without further adieu, let’s count backwards from ten together.
JG Melon
1291 3rd Ave, New York, NY
Price: $13.25
Comes with fries: No, an order of cottage potatoes is $7.75 extra.
Toppings: Red onion and pickles.
Hard to get: Not really - tables turn quickly, just remember to bring cash.
Eaten with: My former coworkers Caitlyn and Ally.
A lot of people who put this burger in the top echelons of NYC food are more in love with the idea of JG Melon than the food itself. It's easy to be delighted by the gingham tablecloths and the old New York charm behind the bar, but at the end of the day the burger is just okay at best. Not a whole lot of flavor, middling patty, but credit where credit is due: gorgeous pickles. According to this 2020 write up from Eater, it's been on a somewhat steady fall from grace as the burger darling of NYC (side note: that would've been a stellar alt title for this newsletter).
Long Island Bar
110 Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn, NY
Price: $18 for the single patty burger, $22 for the double
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: Pickles and burger sauce.
Hard to get: Not awful - I waited about 20 minutes for an outside table around 6pm. Note that there’s no reservations here!
Eaten with: My former coworker Caitlyn (wow, sorry Caitlyn).
LIB is a step ahead of JG for the additional punch of flavor in their burger sauce and better cooked meat, but ultimately the burger was once again…just good. Overall it felt kind of forgettable - on par with a solid burger from your hometown diner. Greasy, a little heavy, and a kind-of decent patty. I have heard that they’ve recently changed the bun and a lot of longtime LIB fans have been unhappy about the swap. Quick shout out to the frozen cosmo though, you were an absolute delight.
Corner Bar
60 Canal St, New York, NY
Price: $28 during lunch but $20 during Happy Hour
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: Smoked-onion remoulade, lettuce, red onion, and pickles.
Hard to get: Yes, as far as timing goes - it’s exclusive to the mid-day and bar menus, so if you’re coming for dinner, you’re out of luck.
Eaten with: My friend Alexa.
Corner Bar is in the beautiful Nine Orchard hotel in what some may call “Dimes” “Square.” I was supposed to go see CATS: The Jellicle Ball, but it got cancelled and we wound up here instead based on a recommendation. Since the dining room wasn’t open, we sat at the bar, which worked out for the best because this burger is not included on the full dinner menu. Serendipity!
The Corner Bar burger is large in stature and it packs the crunch from the lettuce, red onion and pickles and the remoulade is rich and creamy. But the sauce, the size of the burger, and the too thin/too soft bottom bun create a recipe for disaster. The patty itself began falling apart about halfway through and with all the slipping and sliding, this burger committed the cardinal sin of having a ton of bun left over once the patty and toppings were done.
4 Charles Prime Rib
4 Charles St New York, NY
Price: $38
Comes with fries: No, but you can order a side of fries for $13.
Toppings: Pickles and marie rose sauce.
Hard to get: YES.
Eaten with: My boss Max and my coworkers Jess and Jackie.
Have you ever had someone put on white gloves and cut a burger into quarters for you table-side? I have never felt sillier watching something happening in a dining room and I’ve been to multiple Margaritavilles.
We were ultimately there for the King Cut prime rib, but at the suggestion of multiple people we ordered the burger too - two wagyu patties make it the priciest burger in my top ten, and that’s not even including the option to pay nine American dollars extra for bacon.
This is a burger where I don’t necessarily have any complaints but I wasn’t blown away or delighted like I was by every burger I’ve ranked above it. Wait, I lied. I have one complaint - there’s a mismatch between the patties and the bun. It’s a huge pillowy bun with two self-described griddled and pressed patties - but maybe I’d feel different if I needed a vehicle for the optional fried egg.
Rippers
8601 Shore Front Pkwy, Rockaway Beach, NY
Price: $11
Comes with fries: No, an order of Old Bay fries is $7 extra (get them, don’t question it).
Toppings: Iceberg lettuce, pickles, burger sauce.
Hard to get: If you count dealing with the journey on the A train to get to Beach 90th, yes. Otherwise no, this is definitely a burger of the people.
Eaten with: Andee and Daniel, author of Leg Day!
Part of why I love going to the Rockaways in Rippers territory is that everyone is hot. Everyone is hot and eating their burgers and riding waves like some weird alt 1960s surf movie.
While the Rippers burger is very no frills, it holds a spot this high up because it knows exactly what it is and executes perfectly every time. Contrary to its equal at Corner Bar, this burger holds together incredibly well in an environment that demands it. It’s simple, cooked perfectly, and packed with juuust enough sauce and pickles to make sure one doesn’t slide out the end and cause you to be surrounded by seagulls.
Diner
85 Broadway, Brooklyn, NY
Price: $25
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: Lettuce and pickled red onion.
Hard to get: Hard to say - a reservation was easy to come by and I arrived to a packed restaurant. Doesn’t hurt to pull the Resy trigger here.
Eaten with: Brooke, a wonderful photographer
My friend Jesse told me that in his ten years in New York, this was his all-time favorite burger. It felt like the perfect place to take my friend Brooke who hadn't had a burger in FOUR YEARS.
Diner did in fact make it into the top five (so far) but Ingas, started by former Diner chef Sean Rembold, edged it out ever so slightly based purely on toppings. The lettuce and pickled red onion on the Diner burger lacked the crunch that I was hoping for, detracting from an otherwise stellar burger.
Ingas
66 Hicks St, Brooklyn, NY
Price: $21
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: White onion, pickles and mayo.
Hard to get: Kind of - I’d recommend coming straight from work or locking in a reservation. I went (with a reservation) around 6:15pm, but my friends that came closer to 8pm as walk-ins got turned away.
Eaten with: My former boss and current coworker, Leah.
The Ingas burger was excellent - the bun was buttered and toasted, the meat was cooked perfectly to order, and the toppings were some of my classic favorites: raw white onion and pickles. The cut and placement of the toppings, however, is where we lost the plot a little. Small strings of onion and pickle chips nearly vanished under the double patty build of the burger - I needed something stronger to stand its ground in each bite. As we approach the top of the list, I’ll be nitpicking a little more, I’m sorry!
Union Square Café
101 E 19th St, New York, NY
Price: $30
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: Heritage Bacon, Herb Aioli, Lettuce, Red Onion, Pickles
Hard to get: It’s only offered at lunch, so plan accordingly! But lunch tables are pretty easy to secure - I’ve walked in around 1pm on a Friday a few times and they have reservations available as well.
Eaten with: My team at work (so many times).
This one always makes me want to take a nap, which is really unfortunate because I only get it during the day at work. My boss subscribes to this Substack so I want to clarify that I have not taken a nap at work, I promise!
The USC burger is super topping heavy, but I'm very impressed at the fact that nothing overshadows the patty itself. The thick cut bacon, which comes with the burger, is a perfect counterpoint to the raw red onion and pickles. It's a touch messy but not as crazy as the Corner Bar burger - a full plate of sauce and drippings but ultimately a clean affair, helped by the super sturdy bun.
Red Hook Tavern
329 Van Brunt St, Brooklyn, NY
Price: $29
Comes with fries: Yes!
Toppings: Thick slice of white onion, mayo and ketchup on the side.
Hard to get: Kind of - I walked in for a bar seat at 5pm, but make a res if you can help it.
Eaten with: me!
I came to Red Hook Tavern on a solo mission and got the last bar seat, nestled in the corner facing the street.
My burger (gigantic), fries (similar to JG’s cottage potatoes) and martini (listen I was making it a full experience) came out within 15 minutes. I took my first bite and whispered, “oh my god” to myself. It was so simple and so delicious. The size is somewhat imposing but it’s shockingly not heavy. The hunk of raw white onion is the perfect crunch and cuts through the buttered and toasted bun and pub-style patty. Less is more!!
Rolo’s
853 Onderdonk Ave, Queens, NY
Price: $18
Comes with fries: No, and they technically don’t sell fries. You can get an order of crispy potatoes for $8 or $12 war style - mayo, spicy peanut sauce, and raw white onion (get it this way).
Toppings: Grilled onions, dijonnaise, and a pickled long hot pepper on the side.
Hard to get: Kind of - they serve the burger in limited quantities so you’re going to want to get here ahead of 6:30 or 7.
Eaten with: my friend Thom and his birthday dinner party and my friend Mateo, owner of Bad Luck Bar, one year later.
The Rolo’s burger is in a league of its own. The flavor is unmatched but what clinched it for me is the bun - charred to near-black over the wood fired grill. I usually look for my textural element in the toppings, but to have the two patties, onions and sauce enveloped in the crunch also makes the answer to the all-important Is It Too Wet question a resounding NO and thank god for that. I’m also a notable Mustard Hater and normally any mustard-based sauce puts me off but I really can’t imagine eating this without the dijonnaise.
I was nervous to retry this burger a year later, afraid it wouldn’t hold up to how I remembered it or that it was influenced by the state I was in when I first tried it. I’m overjoyed to report that those fears were unfounded - but more on that next week.
I have a specific question (that I'm not sure if you've already answered)....how do you order your burger? Or do these places not allow you to say if you want it well done, medium rare, etc?
Would love to know!!!