burger by burger

how i'm ranking, why i'm ranking and the question of cheese

Like most things in my life, a fun bit has evolved to something a little too real. Hahaha wouldn't it be so crazy if I tried to eat all the acclaimed and cult favorite burgers in NYC hahaha…unless?

The switch flipped sometime in February, when I secured the elusive 4 Charles reservation– it’s the kind of place that has you parked on Resy at 8:59am ready to fight for a table three weeks from now.  Shout out to my boss Max and his alerts!

Before my visit, my friends, coworkers and even my own father were a roaring chorus of “you HAVE to try the burger, trust me!” So I tried it and it was…good! Great, even, but it really didn’t blow me away. I decided I wanted to find what WOULD blow me away, even better if I don’t have to go at 10:45pm on a Monday night to experience it.

4 Charles by the time we finished our meal at 12:45am

Off the bat I do have to disclose I’m (selectively) lactose intolerant. However, this is a burger ranking not a CHEESEburger ranking so I don't feel like I'm leading anyone astray. If you don't agree, call the cops baby I don't care!

When I started doing my rankings and reviews, many bystanders have asked how I'm creating order in the red meat chaos.

In truth, it's just vibes and personal preference. No matrix, no 3.5 out of 5 stars, no scales. But if I had to list things that are important to me, Christina, as a Burger Eater™:

1. Structural fortitude

Is the patty staying together? Are the toppings falling out? Am I able to eat this leisurely or do I find myself shoveling it into my mouth before it dissolves into mush in front of my eyes? Which brings me to:

2. Is it Too Wet?

Self explanatory tbh

3. Flavor

This factor is all-encompassing - patty, sauce, bun, toppings etc. Do they all play well together? But importantly, do they let the star shine through:

4. Patty

The girl we know and love! The prima donna! I want to hear her SING in a burger, not be smothered in fancy accoutrements. Personally I prefer something heartier but I can be persuaded by an excellent smash burger and depending on the spot, I like to order medium or medium rare.

5. General toppings 🫡 

It’s important for me to have crunch SOMEWHERE in a burger, and most of the time, that responsibility rests with the toppings - a raw onion, a hearty pickle, iceberg lettuce.  I don’t want a bunch of sad flaccid microgreens!

At the end of the day, I’m just excited to eat some good burgers with some good people, including me, myself and I. Wherever you go, there you are, making sure there’s no cheese. Yeah no cheese at all, thank you so much.